Confession Brings Freedom
Small Group Session 4 Notes and Overview
Confession Brings Freedom
(Taking the Logs Out Of Our Own Eyes)
He who conceals his sin does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy (Proverbs 28:13).
Key Question: How can I take responsibility to my part of this conflict?
Key Principle: Confession brings freedom.
As God opens your eyes to see how you have sinned against others, he simultaneously offers you a way to find freedom from your past wrongs. It is called confession. Many people have never experienced this freedom because they have never learned how to confess their wrongs honestly and unconditionally. Instead, they use words like these: "I'm sorry if I hurt you." "Let's just forget the past." "I suppose I could have done a better job." "I guess it's not all your fault." These token statements rarely trigger genuine forgiveness and reconciliation. If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs. One way to do this is to use the Seven A's.
1. Address everyone involved (All those whom you affected)
"But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount."" (Luke 19:8, NIV)
• If you've only sinned in your heart, take it to the Lord.
• If you have a grievance with one person, address that person and only that person.
• If it is a group situation, respectfully address the whole group.
2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
Psalm 51 is an example of David confessing. He takes 100% ownership of his sin. When we confess, its important that we don't use words that help us get off the hook like "but", "if", and "perhaps."
So...you can't say, "I'm sorry I raised my voice, but you really made me mad" (the word "but" cancels out everything else."
Tony Evans said, "If it contains an excuse, it isn't a confession."
3. Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
Specific confession shows that our words are sincere.
Start with our sinful desires (idols), like cravings, attitudes, pride, and lust. Also confess good things that we've over emphasizes like working too much.
Then confess sinful words. Not just the "text" of what we said, but also the "context" (when and where we said it), and "subtext" the tone, emotions and innuendo that accompanied the words.
Finally, confess sinful actions. This includes not keeping our word, not respecting the authorities God puts over us (in government, family, church, work or school) (as RC Sproul said, any lack of respect for the authority God puts over us is in effect, cosmic treason.)
If you need help, reflect on Matthew 7:12 "So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them" and ask the Holy Spirit to show you where you've sinned.
4. Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5. Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
As the prodigal son headed home, he planned his words and acknowledged that he might not even be a hired hand as a result of his past bad behavior. As we confess, we should accept consequences (and even anticipate consequences).
6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
Using your new understanding of how you've hurt the person and the consequences you will face, make real changes in your attitudes and actions.
... put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph 4:22-32).
7. Ask for forgiveness - Allowing Time As Its Needed
For more help see: http://www.peacemaker.net/site/c.aqKFLTOBIpH/b.958153/k.7417/Seven_As_of_Confession.htm