Forgive as God Forgave You
Small Group Session 7 Notes and Overview
Forgive as God Forgave You
""Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)
KEY PRINCIPLE: Our Forgiveness Shows What We Think of God's Forgiveness.
Forgiveness is vital to the Christian faith.
1. You Cannot Forgive In Your Own Strength
The first step is to admit, "Lord, I can't forgive...part of me doesn't want to forgive. Change my heart!"
2. Forgiveness is neither a feeling, nor forgetting, nor excusing.
There are common misconceptions about forgiveness that makes it a feeling. There is nothing in the Bible that says we should feel like forgiving. Sometimes the memory is vivid, but that doesn't have to stop us. Forgiveness is a decision.
3. Sin Creates a Debt That Must Be Paid.
"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." (1 Peter 2:24, NIV)
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors (Matthew 6:12)
As we look at the debts that have accrued between us and the people around us, we have to ask ourselves:
• Will You TAKE Payments
• Or Will You MAKE Payments
As we consider this, we have to realize that we are also at fault, also sinful. So we have to ask if we would like God and the people around us to TAKE payments or MAKE payments.
4. Forgiveness is a Decision modeled after God's decision to forgive us.
Our standard is God's forgivness.
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13, NIV)
This doesn't mean we excuse sin. In forgiveness we imitate God's patience, justice and grace.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
(1 Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV)
When we make the decision to forgive we are saying:
"In response to God's love for me and in reliance on his grace, I forgive you. Specifically, with God's help....
• I promise I will not dwell on this incident.
• I promise I will not bring up this incident and use it against you.
When you fight, don't get "historical" and bring up all the past mistakes that have been made in the past.
• I promise I will not talk to others about this incident.
The Bible compares gossip to dry logs put on a fire. Talking to others about a conflict is the equivalent of adding fuel to the fire.
• I promise I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
Children's Poem That Summarizes This:
Good Thought (not dwelling on the incident)
Hurt You Not (not bringing it up again as a weapon)
Gossip Never (not talking to other people about this)
Friends Forever (never saying "I forgive you but don't want anything to do with you anymore)
SIDENOTE: FORGIVENESS IS A FANTASTIC EVANGELISTIC OPPORTUNITY!
5. God's forgiveness Inspires Our Forgiveness.
""Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,' he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'" Matthew 18:32-33
If we keep remembering what God has done for us, it makes forgiving the people around us much, much easier.
REPLACEMENT PRINCIPLE - when you are trying to forgive someone and the hurt is vivid in your memory, just pause and pray for the person. Call to mind everything that is noble, pure and excellent about that person. Changing our actions will change our feelings.