Joy in Conflict

Series: On The Way to Joy: A Study in Philippians

Story - First Apache / US battle that could have been avoided

Result - A decade of open war

- Years of Fear

- Road through Arizona strewn with dead horses

- burned out stagecoaches

- bleached bones


What about the landscape of your life?

Any conflicts that could have been avoided?

Any guerilla wars that you have no clue how to end?

  • Who have you walked on egg shells around?
  • Who have you sent off to the reservation?

1.  Euodia & Syntyche

Ripple Effects in their community because of their interpersonal conflict.


2.  What Conflict is Sending Ripples Through Your Life?

Turbulence

Turbulence is the up-and-down air currents that help to mix the air in the troposphere. It is usually mentioned in the context of airplane flights, where these air currents can feel like "bumps in the road" while flying. Turbulence can occur in the lowest part of the troposphere during the daytime when heating of the sun causes convective mixing of the air. Once the airplane rises above this turbulent "boundary layer", the air becomes smoother. But other processes can also cause these up- and down-drafts. One example is convective clouds. If an airplane must fly through a thunderstorm, these updrafts and downdrafts can be very strong. There is also "clear air turbulence", which can also become very strong. This usually occurs near jet streams, where rapidly changing wind speeds with height can combine with an unstable air layer to cause "waves" of up and down motion in this air layer. (from http://www.weatherquestions.com/What_causes_turbulence.htm)

  • - Jetsteams
  • - Windshear
  • - Wake Turbulence

 

  • - Increased speed causes turbulence
  • - Smoke rising from a cigarette. For the first few centimeters, the flow remains laminar, and then becomes unstable and turbulent as the rising hot air accelerates upwards. Similarly, the dispersion of pollutants in the atmosphere is governed by turbulent processes.

Ships & Planes have stabilizers

  • Vertical keep you from going side to side
  • Horizontal keep you from going up & down
  • The more turbulence there is in the external environment, the stronger and more effective the internal stabilizers must be.

STORY OF CONFLICT

Wars

In-Church Conflict

Families

 Dr. John Gottman's research here in Seattle

  • Heart-Rate
  • Persperation
  • Facial Expressions
  • Blood tests
  • After studying marriages for 25 years, they can predict whether a marriage will be successful or not with 95% accuracy.

 Four indicators they look for in a marriage that's headed for trouble:

  • CRITICISM
    • Not complaining about actions
    • Criticism is directed at the person
  • Contempt
    • "I don't know how I ended up with you anyways"
    • Intention is to insult
  • Defensiveness
    • Working hard to avoid blame and accountability
    • Feeling like a Victim
  • Stonewalling
    • "You never"
    • "You always"
    • Bury the emotions and cover it up with ice, anger, or fast talk

HOW DO YOU FEEL IN CONFLICT?

"I have to get out of here"

  • There are challenges in our environment
  • But instead of fleeing, we can build stronger internal stabilizers

3.  The Role of Conflict in Community

"All great relationships, the ones that last over time, require productive conflict in order to grow." - Patrick Lencioni

 There is a difference between tension & conflict.

Tension = passive, sarcastic, below-the-surface

Conflict = open, honest, above-board

4.  What They Have In Common (Verse 2-3)

Common Lord

Common Mission

Common Grace

Common Community

Common Destiny

5.  Subject Change or Ultimate Solution?

v.4-9 (read)

 Prayer, Thanksgiving, Peace of God

 Bonhoeffer - Let him who cannot be alone beware of community.  He will do only do harm to himself and to the community. ... Let him who is not in community beware of beware or being alone.  Into the community you were called, the call was not meant for you alone; in the community of the called you bear your cross, you struggle, you pray.

 PASSIONATE SPIRITUALITY IS THE CATALYST FOR COMMUNITY HEALTH

 Your character is formed in prayer - both individual and corporate

Your character is tested in community

Your character results in glory to God by bearing much fruit (John 15:8)

The Gospel

"Through the person and work of Jesus Christ, God fully accomplishes salvation for us, rescuing us from the judgment for sin into fellowship with him, and then restores the creation in which we can enjoy our new life together with him forever." - Tim Keller

Romans 5:1-5 - Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Basics for Believers: An Exposition of Philippians (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 1996):

The ultimate ground of our rejoicing can never be our circumstances, even though we as Christians recognize that our circumstances are providentially arranged. If our joy derives primarily from our circumstances, then when our circumstances change, we will be miserable. Our delight must be in the Lord himself. That is what enables us to live with joy above our circumstances. As Nehemiah puts it, "The joy of the Lord is your strength" (Neh. 8:10). Perhaps that is one of the reasons why the Lord sometimes allows miserable circumstances to lash us-that we may learn this lesson....Whatever the mysteries of evil and sorrow, they do have the salutary effect of helping believers to shift the ground of their joy from created things to the Creator, from the temporary to the eternal, from jingoism to Jesus, from consumption to God. (p. 106)